Alice, I'm in love with a beautiful girl. She has a boyfriend though, and I don't even know how to approach her to even talk to her without ruining anything. It was love at first sight and I just want advice on how to win her over. I'm one of those infamous "nice guys" and she is a really nice woman. I desperately need help. Paul Mcvay Barnegat, New Jersey

Well, Paul....I could spend 20 minutes telling you how to win this girl over, but frankly it would be a waste of both of our times. This girl has a boyfriend and, trust me when I tell you, I know firsthand that even if she leaves him she still won't be ready for another relationship for awhile.

The best thing you can do is spare your heart by staying away. You'll find another girl who is available for you. Someone who deserves a nice guy like you! Keep the faith Paully : )

Alice

Alice - question: I haven't seen my g/f for 4 days now, and she is thinking about breaking it off after 2 1/2 years, what should I do to make her night one never to forget?
Mike Sammons, Bryan, USA

Mikey, Mikey, Mikey. First of all, you've told me nothing about your girlfriend so it's hard to say what would win her heart. I'd suggest wracking your brain to remember every time she's ever said to you, "God, I'd love to......." and then whatever the thing was, carry it out down to every last detail. Think BIG. How about a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon? Don't have money? Go to the beach and build her an elaborate sand castle with a hidden message inside. Don't have a beach? Make her an incredible dinner and have an indoor picnic with candles and flowers everywhere. Use your imagination. Women love to know that thought has been put into something. Go all out if you really want to keep her. Happy New Year!

Alice

Dear Alice, I've been going out with this girl for like 2 weeks, not until we broke-up with the reason that she needed more time to settle down since she just broke-off with her boyfriend 1 month back. Well she's back at her hometown now, and we don't meet each other as she's from the other state. I can't help myself everytime by questioning her how much time she needs to cool-off, when can we be back together, and all these questions really pisses her off. Only yesterday night, I blew out in a tele-conversation with her mentionining that I'm a fool, loving her instead getting no love from her in return, she did said I'm childish, and immature. I know that since then, her perception towards me has changed, me being a childish and immature guy. I'm 24 this year and she's 20. Please advice me on how to gain a better perception towards me and how I mend things up. Thanks. Cheers, Jaymz Chomg, Malaysia

Dear Jaymz~

Well, one thing for sure is that you've got to give this girl some space or risk losing her for good. While I understand you clearly want to be with this girl, you'll drive her away with all your questions and demands. Instead, you've got to earn her respect by being patient and understanding. Only you know whether or not you're prepared to give what Love will require of you. Don't call her. She must come to you. We all want what we want when we want it. However, in these types of situations your desire has to be put on the back burner until she is in a place to see you for who you are, rather than the pain he caused her.

If you're not prepared to wait, then home Jaymz and don't spare the horses!

Good luck!
Alice

Alice I've been in love with my best friend Lisa since I met her and I know for a fact she is not happy with the man she is with because she tells me all the time. I need to know how to get with her because she has told me many times that I'm her soulmate and I feel the same way she does, and I told her how I felt, but she doesn't want to be with me she wants to stay with this guy Angus and have a lot of sex with him even though what she is doing is against her beliefs and then she complains to me how unhappy she is because of him. Now I tried to tell her to break up with him and ask God for forgivness for her sins, but she doesn't do it all she just keeps complaining about him. What do I do? - Jeremy Hammock, Las Vegas, NV USA

Dear Rodeo Cowboy~ I honestly want to recommend that you get on your horse and ride as far away fom that girl as you possibly can. We have ALL been in this situation before and it's not pretty. You're torturing yourself if you keep playing the same part. Walk away, my friend. If she follows, great. If not, you've spared yourself from a lifetime of pain. Find a new best friend.

Happy Holidaze. Alice

Dear Alice,

I have meet a young woman who is five years younger than me we are not dating but have this bond. When I am happy she is happy and when I am sad she is sad and we always find each others jokes funny but when I look in her eyes I feel like I am 20 again and not 25. She will sometimes say something to me which I do not hear then when I ask her what she said she will start laughing and talk about something else or just look and smile at me. Could she feel the same way I fell about her or not? I don't know what to do please help a man from a womens point of view. Thank you - love the insight you give people. - Jordan Logan, Exeter, Devon England

Hey J! It sounds to me like the only problem you have is.....what are you waiting for? If your 20 year old chicky is giggling and smiling at you, I guarantee she likes you! Might I suggest the next time she's laughing like this you just grab her and kiss her? Girls love that! Be a man and take initiative. This is provided you have given me all the info. If she's dating someone else, this advice is null and void. Otherwise, take her to Heaven in Devon. I had to say it!

Ciao Bambino. Alice

Dear Alice,

I'm 13, and there's this girl I like at school. I mean REALLY thinking about her every minute of my life like her. I haven't asked her out and she's not going out with anyone, but I don't know if she likes me. I can easily make her laugh, and we talk a lot in class, but she really doesn't seem interested in me. Why??!!?? So I need help. Should I ask her out, or what? Thomas Hodson, Syracuse, USA, football king.

Dear Football King~

First of all, how cute are you? Thinking of her every minute of your life huh? Well, this is clearly Love then isn't it?

If you say you can easily make her laugh, then you've got this girl right where you want her. Women Love a sense of humor! It's the #1 most important thing to most girls. I'm curious as to why you don't think she's interested in you? You're clearly a confident person with a sense of humor and you play football...what more is there? Go forth and conquer!! Ask her out immediately! If she says no, move on to the next lucky girl and realize it's her loss for not realizing how special you are.

Let me know how it goes, cutie pie.

Alice

Hi girl,

I have some questions.

1 Why sometimes girls like me and other times they don't even look at me?
2 Why I get girls sometimes and other times I get nothing?
3 Why girls don't have so much time with me (like 2 months for much)
4 Why almost always I get the same kind of girls?
5 When I fail in approaching women why they sometimes start hating me or is it that I just have that thinking?

Thanks - Cedric Ramirez, Mexico


Hi Boy~

1. Why do some girls like you and some don't? Because if every girl liked every boy there would be no such thing as chemistry. Everyone would want everyone and that would be no fun at all. Not even all girls like Brad Pitt!

2. This is the same question as number one and therefore the same answer. Because you win some, you lose some. That's life! Accept it and move on.

3. I assume you mean why don't your relationships last longer than two months? Usually, you're either attracted to the wrong type of women (high maintenance, trouble girls I call them) or you have some work to do on yourself! No offense honey, but I'm sensing it's the latter. I'm feeling desperation from you and that is NOT attractive. Once you're okay without women, you will have anyone you want.

4. Why do you always get the same type of girl? Because you aren't accepting responsibility for your life. YOU need to change so that you attract what is good for you....peace and happiness for yourself.

I don't understand what you mean by when you fail in approaching women, they start hating you. I can only assume that your lack of confidence is a turn off to them. Either that or maybe you're only looking for sex and they sense that. Believe me, if you aren't genuine women can tell and usually want nothing to do with you.

Want my honest opinion? Spend some time getting to know yourself. Once you're happy alone, you're ready to share your life with someone.

Good luck!

Alice in Chains

Dear Alice,

There's this girl that I used to hang out with a lot and we were really good friends, best friends actually, now I talk to her on the computer every now and then but I've been feeling this strong attraction to her lately and on sunday I'm going to go see her and we are going to hang out for the day. I'm wondering if I should say something about how much I like her or just see how she acts? This girl is so important to me I can talk to her about anything and I'm a lyricist and I always show her my works before anyone else so I consider her to actually be probably the most special person to me. Do you think it would be wrong to confess my feelings? Gil Budd Gloucester, U.S.A

Dear, sweet Gil~

I so love the sincerity of your email. You should ABSOLUTELY share your feelings with this girl! You have nothing to lose except your fear of facing the truth. The fact that you would let her read your lyrics tell me two things. One, you're not afraid to be sensitive and two, she probably already knows how you feel about her and is just waiting to hear it from your lips. Talk away baby and let me know how it goes!

Alice xo

Dear Alice,

I recently found an online profile that is EXACTLY what I have been looking for all of this time. She has a website and online diary and the more I read about her the more interested I am. But of all the previous emails I've sent out I have only gotten one reply worth remembering. So when I send her an email I want it to actually promote a response this time. Can you give me ideas on how to write a good initial email? - Nick Somebody Omaha Ne. USA

Hi Nicky~

I have to be honest with you. I've never even looked at online match making services let alone connected with anyone that way. Having said that, love is love in any language right?

Your letter to me doesn't state what it is your trying to achieve with this girl, so I have to assume you want a date, right?

Here's what I would do. Try to show as much of your personality in your email as you can. Don't try to be slick or use lines...women hate that. I would mention that you found her profile fascinating and that her words in her diary intrigue you. Mention specifics about things she's written about or expressed interest in, such as "I can't believe you went roller skating last weekend! I love to skate and I go to Venice Beach all the time!" Point out common interests and tell her you'd love to spend some time getting to know her. Don't go overboard...keep it casual.

I've been on a lot of first dates where the guy blabs on and on about himself. It's so unappealing. It's best to talk about common things before sharing yourself and your life too readily.

Be yourself, Nicky, and soon you'll find yourself looking into the eyes of the love of your life.

Kisses...Alice

Hi!

I think it's much wiser to ask a woman about women than to ask men about women. So I am a 23 old tall, dark haired, handsome dude. But I just can't get through the "break the ice" phase in seducing women. Basically my question is; how can I seduce women in to my bed or life because I don't want to remain alone forever. Could you tell me some original ideas because I read all the seduction methods and they don't really work or I can't put them into practice in the right way. I flirt with women but just don't get anywhere and the next day Ii wake up alone in my bed again and this is so so sad - because I love women. Oh and maybe a little bit I'm suffering from the nice guy sindrome. But just a little. I don't want to reveal that face of mine, but sometimes it just reflects on me and they know and blame me; you are a loser, you are awkward. I really would like to get out of this vicious cycle. Can you give advice to a cute boy from Europe. Thanks bye. - Joseph Kerekes, Romania.

Well hello Cute Boy from Europe named Joseph.

It sounds to me like you're so concerned with getting girls into your bed and into your life that you probably aren't able to relax around them. A woman knows your intentions, trust me.

Let's talk about this nice guy syndrome. I think it's a lot of bullshit that women don't want a nice guy. Women DO want a nice guy. It's just that women don't want a pushover and they don't want someone who needs them to feel good about themselves. I've said this a million times before, but the number one thing a woman looks for in a man is confidence. It can't be faked. You've got to do the groundwork. You've got to spend time alone getting to know yourself, respecting yourself, and feeling good about yourself no matter what ANYONE else thinks of you. Once you have that confidence, you'll be able to get any woman you want.

My advice, spend some time getting to know and love yourself THEN hit the town and take your pick! Kiss Europe for me!

Love, ALICE XX

Hey Alice,

I've known this chick for a while. Lately I've become her closest friend due to her recent break up, doing nothing but providing support and comfort. But all I wanted in the first place was for her to be attracted to me and get her in bed. Can I do it from my situation now?
- Zach, Georgetown, Malaysia

Dear Zach,

You've left out a crucial piece of information, honey. Are you looking for a relationship or do you just want to get laid? If she's recently been heart broken, chances are you can get laid if that's all you want.

Men who choose to go the "comforting friend" route usually have self esteem issues and feel they won't be accepted in the way they want. So they spend a ton of time being the friend only to find that makes it impossible to ever make the move. The longer you wait the more the fear builds. Any way you slice it, that's what it is...fear.

As I've said time and again, women LOVE confidence. It's simply a must have! You have to walk up to her now, tell her the truth about what you want and be prepared for the truth from her. Do it NOW! Be strong and believe in yourself. If she turns you down, only you can decide whether or not you can remain friends, but make a decision that either way you'll have confidence in yourself and the fact that you WILL find the one for you.

Ciao bambino and good luck!
Alice


Hi Alice,

I met a girl who was a waitress and the friendship was going really well. When she graduated from high school I gave her a card with $100 in it, thinking she would appreciate it. A week later the money was returned and she never spoke to me again. Any ideas on how to turn this around? Thanks
- Paul

Dear Paul,

Oh where to begin here? So many points to make about your situation.

First of all, why are you calling it a friendship? Clearly you're interested in more than that and it sounds like she is too. Giving a girl money is a great way to find out about her character. I would say only 25% of women would be happy with money as a gift (make that 90%, if you live in Hollywood). However, most women would find money to be somewhat of an impersonal gift. It says either you had no idea what to buy her (indicating you don't know her likes or dislikes), or you didn't take the time to think about her and buy her something meaningful and special.

The good news is, Paul, this one sounds like a keeper! How do you redeem yourself? Nothing's more personal than a letter. No, NOT an email. A hand-written letter sent through the mail. If I were you, I'd tell her you racked your brain to come up with something special to buy her, but nothing seemed good enough. At the end of the day, you panicked and ran out of time. Ask her to let you make it up to her with a very romantic dinner. You should cook and go to a LOT of trouble. Make it unique and special with candles, flowers and carefully chosen music. You're sure to win her heart!

Good luck honey, and let me know how it goes!
Alice

Dear Alice,

I have a long distance relationship going on... I really like this woman or so I thought. I found someone else over here and made a few mistakes over here, now when ever I talk to her I think of the other girl... Should I tell her or accept her invitation to make love?

Dear La "Dee" da,

I'm a little confused. You don't specify which girl you're thinking of or which girl you're talking to.

How often do you see this long distance relationship girl? What kind of promises have you made to eachother?

To me, the most important thing in any relationship is honesty. If you know she's monogamous and expecting that from you, then you have no choice but to be honest about your little fling. I'm a firm believer that when you cheat, there's a reason (apart from hot sex with someone new). Men often have a hard time with long distance relationships because they can't go without sex. If this is you, admit it to yourself AND her. There's certainly nothing wrong with it. Lying is a different story, however.

If you want to see other people, tell her. Often times, men are afraid they'll lose the girl if they're honest about this. You'll be amazed to find there are lots of women who are cool with sharing. Alice isn't one of them of course, but hey...they're out there!

And finally, where in the hell is Naugatuck???

Stay cool, Lover.
Alice

Dear Alice,

I just got out of a 5 year relationship. It kind of got ugly at the end and after about 9 months of laying low I feel like I am ready to get back in the dating game again. My confidence is a bit low so I need to build up some self esteem again. I'm 34 years old, fairly good looking with a good job. I'm fun to be around, successful in business but don't want anything too serious right now. Frankly I'd like to meet some hot women to fire me up again. How do you do that? Where do I go? What do I do? Are you single? You look kind of hot frankly. I have some hair left on my head, but not much. Is this important?

Jonathan Timberlake
Huntington Beach, CA

Hi Jonathan!

First of all congrats on your singledom. There are a virtual bevy of beauties out there just waiting to give you their numbers. The main thing that bothers me about your letter is that you seem to think dating is going to build your self esteem. I'm not saying it won't, but, like anything, you'll probably get 100 no's forevery yes. So, if you go out there shaky, you might just run back into your cave, start rubbing your own bat and never come out again. You need to give yourself a shot of self esteem BEFORE you walk out the door. Chicks can smell insecurity a mile away and believe me, it's a HUGE turn off. You might as well be wearing too much Old Spice!

Dear Alice

Wow, you are one hot chick!! Anyway, love to know your thoughts on this one:
I have this job (I work at a bank in Dayton, Ohio) and there is this girl that works with me. We've acknowledged each other but that's about all. I think she might like me but I can't tell. I'm a bit nervous to go any further but I know I must. What do you think I should say to her? Lots of men notice her and I don't want to appear like a wuss but I think that I am. I must have her. I am playing with myself much too much during the lunch hour. Someone's going to catch me soon. It's not funny! Please help!!

Anonymous Bank Teller
Dayton, Ohio

Settle down big boy or you'll end up with serious carpel tunnel syndrome. And not from counting all that money, I might add.

Whenever someone tells me they have the hots for a co-worker, I get nervous. The odds of two people wanting the same thing and feeling the same way at the same time is soooooooo rare. And let me tell you, it can get really ugly if things go wrong. My first suggestion is to forget her and find someone else to fuck. Honestly, you'll save yourself so much trouble. Better still, take her to lunch, become her friend and ask her to introduce you to some of her hot friends. Be sensitive about it though, because she may just have feelings for you too, so it's best to scope things out before opening your mouth.

If you're still stupid enough, and horny enough, NOT to heed my advice, here's the way to handle it. The absolute first order of business is to find out exactly what she's looking for right now, assuming she's interested in you. If she wants a relationship and you just want a fuck, you cannot go forward here unless you're prepared to find a new job. If she says she's into something casual, make sure she means it. Women have a tendency to think they can change a guy's mind once they get 'em in the sack and may just be telling them what they wanna hear. Then when you're ready to say adios, you overhear her at the watercooler telling everyone what a jerk you are. Suddenly you're as popular as the bank manager with the bad breath on a Monday morning. You're going to have to take your time with this one and use all of your instincts. And PLEASE...wait 'til you get home to stroke your bishop. Alice thinks it's kinda gross to do it in a public place if you're alone.
Use your common cents......

Alice

Hi Alice,

This is an interesting website. I've read all sorts of psychology books written by men on "how to be jerks" etc and they have helped a great deal. I'd love to know your thoughts about what makes a hot chick (like you) stand up to attention. How should a man behave in order to get your attention? Should they impress you, tell jokes? Why do all women want men to make them laugh? Do they need entertaining constantly? Your thoughts much appreciated...

Inqusitively yours
Peter
San Diego, CA

Dear Inquisitive,

Hmmmmmm. Ya know, it always bothers me when men think women only like jerks. It's just not true. Usually, however, the jerks are the confident ones. I cannot stress enough the importance of confidence. It's so fucking attractive I want to get naked just thinking about it. When a man asks me out, I can tell by the look in his eyes how important my response is to his ego. If I can tell his ego can handle no, even if he's not thrilled with it, I'm much more likely to say yes. It's just a fact of life, needy is yucky. Strong, happy, fulfilled people are just down right fuckable. And if they know how to eat you like there's no tomorrow, then you've found it all my friend.

Why is a sense of humor so important? Because dating is scary and a man who can make me laugh takes away my anxiety. My walls go down and so do I. Laughter frees the soul and unhooks the bra. Sex should be fun and a guy who can laugh usually doesn't take himself too seriously.
Now go get laid!
Alice

Alice!! How may I shag thee??? Please show me and let me count the ways...

Frank
Streatham, London, UK

Well, I just adore it from behind, but there aren't many men who can keep up with me Frank...ly. Let me bottom line it for you. If you can get me wet, I'll be your pet.

Alice
PS A first class ticket to London is a great start!

Dear Alice,

Would you say that hot women get turned on more by rich guys or by really really funny guys? I saw a not very attractive comedian on Politically Incorrect sometime ago arguing that he was a really funny guy who never got laid. I thought that was poignant. Care to throw some light....?

Brian Stepforth
New York

Brian I feel you need to Step forth and admit that you are that comedian! Just joking baby. Everybody knows that off stage comedians are the most serious people in the world!

My answer to the rich guy vs funny guy question is that there isn't one. As a general rule, someone either cranks my handle or they don't. I don't care if I'm being fucked in the back of a Mercedes or a pick up truck if I'm into the guy. Then again there are certain girls, in certain cities (Los Angeles), that don't seem to care if they like you or not as long as you have money. Where I come from this is called prostitution. Not that I'm against that at all, but let's call a spade a spade, or in this case a whore a whore. Most of the time the rich guys are only into the girls with the perfect bodies, so they deserve to be used in my opinion.

You just need to find the perfect woman for you. She'll laugh at your jokes, suck your dick AND spend whatever money you have.
Be loved baby!

Alice

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